'She didn't hold anything back'
The Beamer family, clockwise, from left: Cody, Malinda, John and Emily. Emily’s courageous battle with cancer touched people around the area and worldwide.
Emily Beamer had a saying she liked to use whenever she heard people feeling sorry for themselves or complaining.
“One of the things she said was ‘Cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it.,’” said her mother, Malinda. “She didn’t let people whine. That was one of her famous sayings.”
After all, nobody ever heard Emily complaining or feeling sorry for herself.
In March 2008, 11-year old Emily was diagnosed with pinealoblastoma, a brain tumor. Through it all, she stayed positive and never let her problems get her down from the time her illness was identified until she passed away on May 26.
“That’s just the way Emily was,” Malinda said. “She never complained, never asked why. She gave it her all, always. She was just a good kid. Even at the hospital, no matter what day she was getting a treatment, they asked her how she was doing and she said good.”
Her father, John, added, “Doctors always asked, ‘Would you tell us if it wasn’t good?’”
Malinda noted, though, that if Emily was not well, she would have said so. That’s just the way she was.
“She was quick to tell you what she thought,” Malinda said. “She didn’t hold anything back.”
Emily’s affable personality made her a hit with medical personnel and the visiting athletic teams at Duke University Medical Center and Children’s Hospital in Durham, N.C., where she received treatment. Malinda said meeting the student-athletes from Duke was a treat for Emily, who was a fan of the Blue Devils long before she got sick.
“They do a wonderful job, the teams coming around,” she said. “It’s genuine in what they do, not because the coach made them do it. The volleyball team sent her a shirt and a ball. She was having treatment so she wasn’t able to go to a lot, but finally we finished so we spent a day with them at practice. We got to be in Cameron (Indoor Stadium). They all talked to her and came to check on her. The women’s basketball team came on the floor. The lacrosse team adopted her. They brought her a lacrosse stick and kept checking on her.”
Malinda said the visits helped change the subject, which gave everybody a much-needed break.
“When they came around the hospital, that’s five minutes you’re not thinking about treatment or medicine or feeling bad,” Malinda said. “It’s really a neat thing what they do. She really liked those visits.”
Emily also really liked her Great Dane puppy, Harley, which became one of her favorite gifts.
“When they found out what Emily wanted, a classmate of mine and a friend got to looking for a dog,” Malinda said. “They found one and chipped in and got the dog for Emily. She was going to go on a Make-A-Wish trip but was too sick to go so that was her Make-A-Wish. That brightened her day. She loved that dog. Now it’s good for (Emily’s brother) Cody, it’s something for him to take care of.”
Emily’s story reached around the world through the help of Web sites like http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/emilybeamer, and gifts came in from everywhere, from people who had never met Emily.
“We got a coconut from Hawaii from a family we didn’t even know,” Malinda said. “She got a package from Japan; she got stuff from Turkey; she got stuff from Germany and all over the United States. People were saying, ‘I don’t know you but we’re praying for you.’ I’ve got a box downstairs full of cards.”
John said the Web site was a blessing, as it allowed the family to communicate and share what was going on.
“That Caring Bridge site was wonderful,” he said.
“It’s getting close to 41,000 (visits),” Malinda added. “Not everybody wrote, but you knew people were looking. It was a neat way to keep in touch and let people know what was going on.”
And those who learned about Emily and her challenge stepped in to do whatever they could to help. Time after time, people from all over the region came together to help the Beamer family in their time of need.
On May 23, the Narrows High School class of 1984, of which Malinda was a member, opted to take a different approach to help the family instead of holding a typical class reunion. To that end, a Softball Marathon in the spirit of a Relay for Life was held in Giles County with the money raised going to the Beamer family.
“When we were talking about our class reunion, we were talking about Malinda and all she was going through. It didn’t seem appropriate for us to be celebrating with her facing the situation she was facing,” said Ellen Hawks, a classmate of Malinda’s. “We wanted to do something to help her out, let her know we were thinking about her. We didn’t want to do a golf tournament so we thought, let’s play softball. Let’s base it on a Relay for Life type thing.”
So at 7 a.m. that Saturday, teams gathered and played softball for 12 consecutive hours, while folks came and went as they pleased — there was no admission charged — to watch the games and a full concession stand was manned.
The entered softball teams collected sponsorships for games and innings played to help raise money for the event.
In addition, items were donated for a silent auction. Some of the bigger ticket items included park hopper passes for Walt Disney World in Orlando, Fla., and autographed items from Dick Vitale, Frank Beamer and the Virginia Tech women’s basketball team.
In all, the Softball Marathon, concessions and silent auction raised a significant amount to help the Beamer family.
Hawks said unlike other benefit events, there were no overhead costs to have to pay out first.
“Every dime of it is going to the family,” she said. “The advertising for it, people paid for that. It didn’t come out of the proceeds. Everything was donated so everything, 100 percent, benefits the family. Everything.”
Closer to home, on May 27 at Fancy Gap Elementary, teachers and students participated in an “Exercise for Emily” day to raise money and remember Emily, who attended kindergarten through fifth grade classes at the school.
After Emily passed away, Fancy Gap principal Dr. Jeanne Edwards polled the student body to find out how they wanted to handle the situation.
“Dr. Edwards asked the children if they still wanted to do something after she passed away,” said fifth grade teacher Anita Semones, who helped coordinate the event. “They said they can’t help Emily, but they can still help her mom, dad and brother.”
In the morning, kindergarteners, first graders and second graders walked, jumped rope and hula-hooped. Third through fifth graders did the same later, and after school, sixth and seventh graders from Woodlawn — Emily’s classmates — came to the school and participated as well.
Semones said the event was not just a way to help the Beamers. It was also great therapy for those who knew Emily.
“The biggest thing was, we did it to give the children something to do,” Semones said. “We were kind of at the point where the children needed something to do and we didn’t know what that was. Several parents said that was the best way for them to have a part. That was our counseling for each other. We were all here together, talking about how Emily was always exercising and active, so we did that in her honor.”
Malinda said the outpouring of love and support was overwhelming, and there’s no way the family can adequately thank everybody enough for what they’ve done.
“I don’t know how you thank everybody for what they did for us and for Emily,” she said. “These are hard times for everybody, and for them to give their stuff to our family is amazing they would do that. We appreciate it.”
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On May 29, at 3 p.m., around 350 people gathered at Vaughan-Guynn-McGrady Chapel in Hillsville to pay respects to Emily in a service led by Pastor Bobby Webb.
The assembly of mourners spilled out beyond the chapel room, as some viewed the funeral from the hallway and others went to an adjoining room to listen to the service.
Following the funeral, 35 members of Faith Ryders Motorcycle Ministry formaly Biker For Christ members led the procession to Independence Cemetery with a thumb raised in the air — a gesture that Emily adopted as her own during her treatment and battle with the illness.
“All the people there was amazing, with the motorcycles leading the way and all the cars that went,” Malinda said. “That was the kind of support we’ve had through the whole thing.”
Malinda said if there’s a lesson to learn from Emily, it’s this:
“You can never give up hope no matter what. Do the best you can and you have no regrets if you do that. She never batted an eye. She gave it all she had,” she said.
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